Adventures in Personal Trainer Land

If you’ve ever attempted to get fit, lose weight, or just find something active to do for fun, you’ve probaly thought about a personal trainer!

Not all have the same training, certification, abilities or attitude.  They may have areas of specialty such as a particular sport, endurance, weight loss or injury rehabilitation, just to mention a few.  Some personal trainers may be coaches as well, a life coach http://tammysmirror.com/2010/03/life-coach-a-mystical-creature/ or a sports coach-someone that focuses on the mental as well as physical conditioning.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have had a few experiences with PTs and coaches.  Life is about personal experiences and learning from it.  I’ve been on a refocused mission to change my life from fat, unhealthy and mentally exhausted, especially in the last 18months. I want to have a personal trainer in my life to help me.

I’ve finally decided to focus on me and decide what’s best for me, who fits best into my life plan-this is a big deal!  Here’s some of my experiences and advise.

A couple of times in the past I did the 3 session thing from a gym and left with a written plan, this was not for me.  I got lucky last year when I met Thor Holt http://www.linkedin.com/in/thorholt , He opened my eyes and learned what I wanted and needed.  I had a focus and a plan, I worked hard and got results-especially mental.  I then moved from Scotland to Canada(my home).

I started with a new trainer soon after I arrived.  I was optimistic, but after a couple of sesions-I was toldthe folowing: I had a food addiction, When I called to tell him I would have sick kids with me when we worked out he said -I was just looking for an excuse not to workout, I was to have no days off (and dare I ask that meant I wasn’t 100% committed), having my period would not cause weight gain every month, that I must have no trouble finding time to workout (I’m a stay at home mom that just moved!), I would never succeed until I had this epiphany and “got it”(no matter how much I tried to tell him I was working on it and had worked on that) he refused to listen, he told me to write about my emotion-ummm remember the blog I’ve written for a year!

I actually  was relieved when I had to have thousands of dollars worth of dental work and couldn’t afford to train with him.  I felt really guilty that I was cancelling only two session(1 in home,1 @ his location) before I was due to buy more and thought about rehiring him later, but that thought went away when he didn’t show for my last two sessions(that I already paid for-he said he was no longer motivated to train me -because of my lack of comittment and quitting).

Wow maybe I needed to vent!  In fairness to him, I did cancel two sessions in 3 months and was late for 1, he had amazing techniques and ideas and was probaly perfect for an athlete, trainng someone for his sport or someone already “there” mentally.  I think his heart may have been in the right place but he just didn’t know what to do with it.  He was frustrated and I could see that.  He did admit upfront that understanding a struggle with weight loss was not his thing.  I kept saying to myself and him that it was going to work, I think because I really wanted it to. Take what you want from the above story and learn from it.

I fell into a slump after this, I started to question myself again.  Maybe I really wasn’t worth this, maybe I’m not committed….

I ate what I wanted and had no desire to workout!

It took me 4 months but I finally came to my senses!  I started to seek out that determined, stubborn,determined and focused person I knew was inside me.  I thought about what I had learned last year-bottom line-find something I love to do and do it with purpose.

I found Christina  http://www.evolvesportsfitness.com/about.shtml (competitive kickboxer and mom) and I’ve trained with her for about a month,2 days/week!  I’m back to what I love, Kickboxing, she’s helping me with rehabing my knee and other fitness activities-and the mental stuff!

I haven’t felt this good in long time, mentally and physically(I’m not completely back yet:-), but I’m not faking my enthusiasm-I’m completely enjoying this(challenges included)!  She spent time listening to me, history,health,life,what foods I like, talked about endocrinology(how my body’s chemistry works, how I metabolize food), what activities I like, goals, challenges….this is not a one size fits all lady(no pun intended;-)

I’m now looking forward to my future fitness!!  There will be struggles both mentally and physically but I feel she’s the person to help me through.  I cherish the fact that she is confident enough to understand and appreciate I still do coaching with my former mentor Thor http://tammysmirror.com/2010/07/how-do-i-say-thank-you/ (I hid from him for a few months:-), and knows this has a lot of value for me!

So here’s a few tips from my adventures over the last 5 or so years:

~ If your trainer quotes/refers to The Biggest Loser: run for the door

~ You should never hear the phrase ” I will break you”- I don’t need that I’m already broken, I’m trying to be unbroken!

~ They don’t listen and instead preach to you!! A red flag in any relationship!

~ It should be about you, not someone else, their phone or the hot girl across the room, or themselves in the mirror

~ They should NEVER make you feel guilty-no matter what-If you’re on a weight loss journey you already do that enough

~ Don’t allow them to constantly remind you of all the reason you can’t do IT

~ You must enjoy what you’re doing-at least at the end:-)

~ If they tell you to work through the pain no matter what-leave

~ If they try to take control and want you follow along like a sheep(not a good thing)-You need to learn how to get control not give it up-you should be taught what to do if they’re not around

~ It’s about you, you’re paying for this, it’s a partnership, be assertive, honest and open minded at the same time, Ask questions

~be safe, check things out and follow your gut

~your personalities simply don’t connect-you may not be a match!

~There should be no screaming in your face(save that for reality TV), unless you request that-but trust me there are other ways to be motivated and work on your mental attitude!

Please add to these or tell your story, A personal trainer/coach can be an amzing asset to your life and journey!  What are your thoughts and opinions?

Hugs

In life we encounter people everyday.  There are our families, our life long friends, some we barely notice or speak with, it may be a brief momentary encounter, others that lead to aquitances, work relationships or life long friendships.  No matter what the relationship, there’s a high probability of us making an impact on each other.

One year ago was at my heaviest and the most unhealthy I had ever been, it was the peak of my frustration.  I had no energy, felt lost, lacked motivation and direction, I had felt weak(mentally and physically).  I have been on more diets and tried more fads than I can even recall and I’ve had periods of good health and fitness.

I needed something new, something life changing and something that would help me get my health and my life back.

I was occasionally dabbling back at my gym, had just completed a charity walk and had a knee injury( could barely stand on it, let alone do much else).  I cried, I was angry and I didn’t know what else to do.  I decided to call the number of a private personal trainer from the gym.

I had no idea how this worked in the UK, but deep down expected the same result. I thought I’d walk away with a written plan or sign up for a few sessions.  Boy did I get a surprise!   My call was returned by a guy named Thor (I really didn’t think this was his real name, turns out it was)!

A very assertive scottish voice was on the other end of the phone.  A bit intimidating I must admit.  He started the conversation quick and to the point.  He wasn’t really taking new clients, but let’s see if we’re a match.  He asked what I was looking for, what was I doing now, what I wanted to get out of training, and what was my level of comittment out of 10.   All I remember  saying was: 12/10, wanted to get fit, lose roughly 100lbs and step out of the “gym box”(possibly learn some boxing).

His first challenges to me before meeting:  He gave me a few days of specific gym activity(based on what I said I could do), write out a 3 or 4 day honest food journal, and email him with all.  I did that, then we arranged a time to meet.

I have been in life threatening and life saving situations, had 2 babies, encountered brilliant and aggressive minds, been enamoured by incredible amazing paople and I’m rarely intimidated.  I have also had personal trainers before, but that day I was so nervous I almost cancelled and then when I got there, I almost left.  Anything involving my weight is my biggest challenge in confidence.

I have a great gut instinct and I’ve learned to trust it.  I stayed-I met.  We were about to start a pattern of events that would be repeated hundreds of times, he carried a pair boxing gloves and Thai kick pads, we went into an empty squash court and life began again.  We started straight in, he asked me a few health questions, we reviewed the emails we exchanged and then got moving.  He showed me a few basic punches and we went from there.

I had no idea what the following year was to bring.  I was exhausted after that first workout, I had no cardio stamina, I was uncomfortable in my skin and in my clothes.  I was awkward in my punches and kicks, we did some weight work in the gym, I worked on my rowing technique and learned about intervals and building cardiac endurance and physical strength.

I moved my sessions from 1 to 4 per week.  Why?  This was a gradual process that happened as I learned how much I loved my kick box/MMA/self defence workouts(we still haven’t figured out what to call it!).  I did a crazy amount of work on my own.  He taught me about diet, food, metabolism, and physical activity .  Even though that sounds like a lot, it was the easy part.

I’m  not sure I believe in luck as we would call it, but this is where I say I’m lucky.  This  is the year that I met someone that changed my life.  Rarely do we encounter people that have impact enough that will change who we are as people and how we live our lives.  I have: my personal trainer/coach.  I feel like I’ve found the real me, I smile more, I’m more content, more confident, and I’ve learned my life is mine.  My worth is not based on how I look in the gym or in a pair of jeans, who I am is not a number on scale.

There were subtle conversations during workouts, formal coaching sessions and a friendship that developed over the year.  I’ve learned that you cannot judge a book by it’s cover, that if I allow it, there are people that can impact my life in ways I could never have imagined.  I know that most of us struggle with who we are and what we want.  I’m human, the expectation of perfection is not realistic.

I need not wait for my life to start after I reach a certain number on a scale, I start living the life I want now.  Find things I love to do that will keep me healthy and fit and make me smile.  I have a new outlook on my life, I’ve always been an adventurous person and some how lost myself, allowed myself to be consumed by my body.

I wish I could package the genuineness, the encouragement and passion for life that my coach lives.  The greatest things I got from this past year is that I’m worth it, to give myself a chance, and I’ve finally got the concept that whatever I do must have a purpose.  I have found my purpose.  That purpose can grow as I change and take new paths in life, but without direction and a purpose, I’ll just get lost again.  One of the most amazing conversations I have had recently was about quitting.  I know that quitting is not an option-I will not quit my life.

This has been a year of many tears, frustration, encouragement, guidance, toughness(on both sides), determination, compassion, and few bruises!  I was trained through a year long knee injury and the frustration of a messed up metabolism.  He encouraged me to follow my creative side and taught me that it was part of who I am. I get that being vulnerable, crying, and seeking help are not signs of weakness but signs of guts and strength.  This was meant to be an appreciation to my trainer, but I could not write it without describing what this year has meant to me.

I’ve lost a couple of close friends in the past couple of years(people that left this world far too soon).  I realize  life is too short, it needs to be embraced, we need to acknowledge the people that help make us who we are and who we want to be.  Whether it be family, friend, coach or trainer.  I will never again have too big an ego, be too self conscious or be too afraid to miss an opportunity to embrace life or miss telling someone how much I appreciate them.

My travels to the UK will end shortly and I will leave behind a person I may never see again, a person that has helped me find my way back to myself.  An amazing human being that is greater than his shell may tell, someone that has helped me be a better mom, wife, nurse, friend and human being.  The extent of my gratitude cannot be expressed by writing a simple note.  I think someone like this probaly has no idea how many lives he’s impacted and changed.

I wish I could share what I have learned from Thor with everyone struggling to be themselves or to find fitness and health.  It’s about more than learning self defence or being encouraged to write my blog, or accepting that I’m a great mom, but it’s about that and the fact that I can see myself for who I am and what I can be-and appreciate both.  People have said to me that it’s easy to lose weight when you can afford a personal trainer, but until we get the mental part of the journey(no matter how short), we will struggle and for the first time ever I think I get it.  I wish I could share it with everyone.

Life is not about holding back, waiting or doubting, it’s about going forward, never settling and always living. It’s about being myself and not apologizing for that or my imperfections.  Embracing who I am and who I want to be.  Valuing and appreciating who I’m lucky enough to encounter.  Each encounter can make a lasting impact, if I let it.  I’m absorbing each moment, and knowing it’s ok not to get instant results or be perfect.  It’s about living life.

A thank you cannot even begin to express how I feel, so maybe sharing what I’ve learned can somehow show how grateful I am.  So Thanks T!  For the endless hours of teaching me to defend myself and my family, unending encouragement,helping me believe in writing, knowledge, skill, coaching, kicks in the ass(or accidental punches to the head;-), toughness, compassion, adaptability, creativity(you think outside the box),passion for what you do, incredible confidence without arrogance, for being real, and somehow knowing how to balance it all! www.ThorHolt.com www.outsourcefitness.com

I would love to hear your comments on your experiences with people that have changed your life! What’s your story?