NO REGRETS!  I made a decision a few years ago to live my life that way.  It was today during a conversation with my trainer http://www.evolvesportsfitness.com/about.shtml that I realized I was no longer living with the full no regret policy that I had lived with for so long.  We were talking about realizing the potential we have and accepting that it’s ok to want something, go for it and realize most of all, we deserve it.

I have, without a doubt embraced life, conquered fears and made my own path.  I would take focus, make a decision and whatever the outcome-have no regrets-knowing it was my choice, I did my best and I went for it.

I genuinely have no regret getting married at 22 and later divorced, that I took challenging nursing jobs in Canada’s far north, embracing my first airplane flight ever-one on which I was a flight nurse and other craziness that lead me to change forever as a nurse and person.  I don’t regret walking away from certain relationships and embracing others.  That trip white water rafting down a river in Bali( I can’t swim,but at least I had a life jacket;-), certainly is not regrettable.  My biggest non-regret, meeting my amazing husband and having my 2 beautiful kids.

I’ve always spoke my mind-sometimes not well received and even though I may think I could have presented my thoughts differently have no regret in letting my thoughts be known.  I take responsibility for my actions, I hate lies, and love surrounding myself with people that make me a better person and I hope I have something to offer something to them.

I’ve always said “everything happens for a reason”, the cliche that most people use when they need hope or have no other explanation.  I actually don’t think I really believe this-I think what I actually believe is that we need to find some purpose in everything, otherwise we might waste time searching for answers that don’t exist.  The ability to move on comes from finding purpose.  I had not thought much about true purpose until I met someone I can now call a friend not just a coach and trainer http://tammysmirror.com/2010/07/how-do-i-say-thank-you/ I guess my no regrets theory meant I found purpose in each action I’d taken in life or action by others that had impacted me.

Oddly the one thing I constantly beat myself up for and focus on the past is my weight loss challenge.  I realize how much fear I’ve developed that holds me back http://tammysmirror.com/2011/04/are-you-fearless/ . That focus on the past is actually a regret-I don’t think I ever thought about it that way before. I realize this fear/regret has mostly been present since I’ve had children.  There’s the fear of not being good enough, disappointing them or doing something that might negatively impact their lives, because they mean more to than anything else.  I need to move forward and remember the no regret, ballsy policy that I lived with for years-it made me who I am.

I need to remember all the success and experience that I had living that way(with no regrets).  I need to move on from the negative past when it comes to my weight loss journey.  I want my kids to live their lives being kind, respectful and honourable but with no regrets.  How can I teach that if I’m no longer living it?  I have to start living it again,  I am where I am right now-no regrets, I just  need to say fuck it and go for it, keep pushing forward, no looking back at anything except the positive.  Can we learn from mistakes? Absolutely but we can not live by them!

Time to kick a little ass, surround myself and my family with like minded people and go for it.  Maybe that’s why one of my new passions is mma and kickboxing-I admire that drive to fight through, to not give up, to forget what happened the second before and push on.  That’s for another post though as some of my closet friends think I’ve lost my mind to record UFC fights and a date night includes attending my trainers Muay Thai fight, but they love me anyway